"You're The Happiest Person I've Ever Met"

I have always found it difficult to know what happiness means. Does it mean a period of uninterrupted joy surrounded by rainbows and cake? Or is it more of an acceptance of circumstance? Is it something subtle that you only realise on reflection or is a mad bliss where everything goes as you want it to? I write because I do not know the trick to it. I think trying to be happy all the time often leaves people in a state of dissatisfaction because of how hard it is to pinpoint its whereabouts every single day. Is it possible to live in a stable state of happiness? I don't mean to sound like a dramatic twat with this topic. If i'm honest, I just find it really, really interesting. You get these people that are deeply religious or spiritual who believe that happiness can be achieved long term and that minds can be moulded to achieve it. What do you think?

Since starting school I've always been labelled a happy person and it hasn't really changed since. I remember someone in my class telling me I was the happiest person they've ever met and although that's clearly a lovely thing to hear (and harshly untrue - i'm a right bitch), it made me question other people's perceptions of happiness. I talk and I'm confident in public as a reaction to stressful situations, it's my coping mechanism which has built itself into my character. I smile and laugh because things definitely do bring me joy and because that's what I look for in other people. I find it so interesting that someone thought that I was 100% happy in my life because of my body language. This is why I think that there’s synthetic happiness and natural happiness. Synthetic happiness is when I cheer myself up by watching a video about an octopus climbing over a rock on YouTube (watch below for a minute of pure joy), when I eat pizza and when I passed my driving test. These things are awesome. Synthetic things are like health packs in a zombie apocalypse that temporarily boost your well being and state of mind. They are good things!

Natural happiness is the difficult thing I think people are always trying to find. The cure in the zombie apocalypse. That stable state of mind that's impenetrable by the one ring and the dark side of the force. We know other emotions like anger, sadness, pleasure and jealousy so well, but not this. I think the curse of being the most advanced species is that we won't ever TRULY understand natural happiness, but we will always be trying to. This is why I think true happiness is a state of mind AND is complemented by but completely separate to synthetic things like Ipods and nice hair. Cleopatra, the beautiful Queen of Egypt, endowed with power, induced a snake to bite and kill her. Kurt Cobain took a shotgun to his head and ended a successful career as a rock singer. René Favaloro, a heart surgeon who pioneered the process for bypass surgery shot himself in the heart. These are people who had HUGE synthetic happiness in their lives, yet ended them. You get the idea. 

There isn't a switch that makes humans happy all the time and there will always be pain and you know what, that is absolutely fine! Be cool with it. Make peace with the fact that so many people don't understand how to be 100% happy all the time too.The irony of this blog post is that I feel incredibly happy today and that's the only reason I wrote this. I also will apologise for writing the word happiness so much. I actually wrote it 12 times which is so excessive and don't worry, i've annoyed myself too.

I love you for reading this post and I hope you live your lives with happy minds surrounded by happy things. 

My Favourite Disney Characters

Hello and welcome to me enjoying Easter half term. Two and a half weeks off of work means I can become a human again who enjoys doing things. So yes, hello. First of all, if you’re reading this and you’re in a bad mood please leave and never come back and keep going until you meet someone Australian. This is no place for you. I hereby present you with a very happy topic. I have a growing, chronological collection of 42 Disney films, encompassing both Disney originals and Disney Pixar (from the pioneering Snow White, to the beautiful Frozen). Growing up, we used videos, not DVDs and I think that’s why I love Disney so much, because it’s rooted very deeply in my childhood. I struggle to watch Cinderella and The Lion King because of the nostalgia; Walt just clicks his fingers and I’m drowning in my own tears (slight exaggeration). A while back I decided that I would start collecting Disney films as a present to any future children I am blessed with, so that one day I can offer their minds small, mini bombs of Walt Disney wonder. I can imagine small feet, running to find a Disney to suit the mood of the day (how adorable). If my future children dislike Disney, well, I’ll just trade them in for some new ones. I like being happy and the stories, characters and themes in Disney films, make me very, very happy. It’s like escaping into a restricted, positive zone where imagination rules over the land and Walt’s sitting on the throne. I thought it’d be fun to share a selection of my favourite Disney characters with you, so, here goes.

1. Anna (Frozen)

She is SO likeable. A Disney princess that isn't just physically flawless with empty insides. I don't know what I like more, how awkward and lovable she is, or how selfless and fearless she is when looking out for her family. I find her situation very relatable. I am the younger of two sisters and so is Anna and my sister felt it appropriate to remind me that I too used to annoy her when I wanted to play (I have yet to discover if my sister can manipulate an element). Many Disney women are unrelatable because their behaviour is unrealistic. That or they make you want to be them which just turns most into a jealous mess. I just want Anna as my best friend.

2. Ursula (The Little Mermaid)

I know she's evil but she loves herself and you can't help but love that about her. She's equally repulsive and vivacious. The way she relentlessly claims to want to help other sea folk for nothing, when really she just wants absolutely everything to herself, is weirdly enjoyable because she knows she's lying. She doesn't give a single fuck about anything and slithers around throwing sass in a revealing little black dress despite being worryingly obese and I admire that confidence. Let's just say I'd love to sit with her over a coffee, embracing curves and sharing hate.

3. Jiminy Cricket (Pinocchio)

He is so sweet. I basically love him because of the extent of his loyalty. He's level headed and will do absolutely anything for Pinocchio, showing a braveness that doesn't falter, even in life threatening situations. If you take it down to basics, he is literally just a tiny cricket with clothes but the effort he puts in and the size of his heart are very big indeed.

4. Aladdin (Aladdin)

If I lived in Agrabah, I'd probably be pining over Aladdin. Let's be honest, he's exquisite. He is an orphan who grew up with nothing, so as a result appreciates the value of everything, helping out others in even more dreadful conditions that himself and I find that very attractive. The best thing about Aladdin is how fun and charming he is. Yes he makes awkward mistakes and yes can be an occasional dick when he compulsively lies to women, but he would take you on THE best dates.

5. Maleficent (Sleeping Beauty)

She turns into a fucking dragon. There is nothing more to say here.

(Me in Disneyland Paris on my 21st birthday with one of my best friends) 

Interaction

First off, I apologise for the lack of blogs. Although you might not give a shit, I happen to give a certain amount of them and I've always intended this to be something that isn't a phase. I've been working full time and this means I have limited finger to keyboard opportunities. It also means I haven’t spent any time with Sari (my Dragon Age character). She's probably being mauled by dark spawn as we speak, which is obviously a lie, because nothing happens to characters in a game when the game isn't being played...right...RIGHT?! I am super loving my new job so I feel I can claim some victory points. It is so much fun. Best job I've ever had hands down.

Since starting, people have been so unbelievably nice to me. Hellos in the corridors, always having someone to talk to at lunch, manners and thank yous. I have my own locker, I know nearly everyone by name and I actually feel comfortable in the staff room (staff rooms are usually evil, awkward places where demons swarm). Those little things that have boosted me up and it’s shocked me to an extent because this has never happened to me in any other job. I think that having supportive, friendly people to associate with is an important component in how successful a person is in a job. I've always treated other people with respect and love because that’s how I was raised, how I intend to raise my own children one day and how I think everyone should behave. It isn't hard, and oh yes, it’s free. Kindness to others doesn't cost a single penny (which is fabulous for me because I barely even have that at the moment). All you need to do is gently extract your head from inside your rectum and take an interest in the people around you. Be sociable. Humans aren't solitary creatures by nature, so make sure you interact with people because it’ll relieve loneliness and boredom and it’ll make others feel good too. Just to clear any confusion, by interact, I don’t mean having a lovely conversation with a colleague during a break and then accidentally opening their toilet cubicle door while they are on the toilet because the lock wasn't working. That isn't good interaction (practice what you preach Sarah).

Happy Wednesday everyone!

Relax

I have a question. Are you relaxed? I mean, in your life, do you feel relaxed and free from stress? I am going to go on a hunch and assume that the answer is no. When you live and grow older, the responsibilities you have only really expand. That’s how it’s been for me anyway. The only stress my younger self had to deal with was deciding what I wanted from the ice cream van and now all of a sudden I have to find a bullshit career path and know exactly what I want to do with my life. Thank you very much universe maker but I gratefully decline. I think if life had a difficulty mode, it’d be automatically set to expert and to change it you’d have to fight a hundred bosses, defeat a hundred hordes of zombies and rescue a hundred princesses. That said, I think that making mistakes and encountering obstacles is normal and healthy. Stress comes in many guises. Work, education, family, relationships, children, self-image, health, housework, money, the past, the present and the future. You’re probably able to pluck out a good few of those.

Now I think that the things that make us stressed can also make us happy. I think they can be controlled or changed to become less stressful. That sounds dumb and obvious but I often find myself really upset over things that I know I can control. Instead, I almost always choose to distract myself and go with ignorance. I’ll throw you back to this time last year, when I was stressing over getting my dissertation finished (I became an irritable, miserable Cave Troll). I knew that if I chipped away at it, day by day, i'd get it done but, contrary to my sound logic, I only did it when I wanted to, and was sitting at this same laptop on the night before due date feeling hateful, crying and i'm certain I nearly vomited. I remember feeling dreadful. I learnt my lesson and although I think it’s hard to be pro-active about conquering stress, it's worthwhile. 

Basically, on top of that, I think every Earth-dwelling creature should spend more time relaxing. You are allowed to do it, no matter how busy you are. Life treats humans like droids, like we have unlimited stamina and no emotional response. Knowing the difference in how you feel when you’re stressed and relaxed is really worthwhile acknowledging. Separate work and play. Try taking time out of every day to calm down and relax. Could be relaxing at breakfast before the day starts, on your lunch break, on a drive home or when you’re lying in bed at night. Sounds pointless, maybe boring, but it really isn't. Lie down, sit down, stick on a film, close your eyes and just stop everything (not breathing - counterproductive). I’m a very anxious person and a total stress hoarder and taking time out to actively slow myself down and recognise when I’m relaxed feels great.

I thought I’d mention a few, great techniques that were recommended to me that calm me down. First one, 7-11 breathing. Obvious, yes, I know, but it actually works. If you feel tense, breathe in slowly through your nose for 7 seconds, hold the breath briefly, and then exhale through your mouth for 11 seconds. If you repeat this 5/6 times, or as many times as you need to, you’ll notice that your body slows down because the sympathetic nervous system is stimulated. A bonus to this is you can do it basically anywhere. Another technique is progressive muscular relaxation. This one is odd but fun. It works on the premise that tensing various parts of the body can help you separate and enjoy the feeling of relaxation from that of stress. Sometimes when I’m stressed or nervous I can get an irregular, uncomfortable heartbeat, stiff muscles and my throat can tighten up. Tensing and releasing areas of your body can draw tension away from the problem areas and will, again, slow you down. Give them a go.

I’m not a doctor but I know stress is bad. I also know that relaxation is good. Seeing others stressed makes me stressed so how about you all do me a favour and just relax. ✩

Play More Games

I haven’t spent the past week working or sweating it out at the gym developing muscle in my flabby places. I also haven’t just been sitting, pending, in the same hunched, robotic position at my laptop, fingers over the keys, for five days either. I've been doing something awesome whilst I’m waiting around for the start date of my new job. I've been playing games.

Wait, what’s that? You think that playing games is childish? You think that I’m a bit of a loser? Oh no, unfortunately we've run some tests and the results have come back positive for not giving any shits. Even more unfortunately, I have just rolled a critical hit and you are metaphorically dead. Since the days of being a small human being, I've enjoyed playing games, and I mean right back to the SNES and Nintendo 64. Video games and board games. I honestly think it can develop a person’s mental capabilities because a lot of games require good judgement and skillful tactics. Not only that but it’s so fucking fun. It’s an excellent way to take yourself out of a boring day and a ridiculously satisfying hobby. I’m lucky enough to be friends with a group of the most delicious, free spirited people who love to play and make it unbelievably fun. We get together and it’s like a big, fun orgasm (with some dragons and a few dungeons).

On a solo note, I've begun Dragon Age Origins on PC and am playing as a rogue elf named Sari. I based her look on the ancient Greeks and as a result she’s wearing a questionable bright gold eye shadow. If you haven’t given Dragon Age a go, do. It’s awesome. The character you chose and story line you play through are customisable and I absolutely love that. When it comes to making decisions in the game, I always base Sari’s judgement on my own. Does anybody else do that? I wouldn't kill a man who is overselling food to some poor villagers so Sari wouldn't too. I bet she absolutely fucking hates me.

It's not just console games. My best friend Jordan is the king of table-top gaming and has introduced me to some incredible board games. I feel as though he is a renowned Jedi Master and I am his Padawan. My thanks go out to him, though there is no certainty that it will reach him as he's in constant battle with the Galactic Empire.

Table-top games often allow you to role play a character or group of characters, usually resulting in one player becoming victorious by possessing the most treasure, money, power etc, though in some you may have to play in co-op to win. If you’re not fond of the role-playing part, then a raw competitive nature also plays to advantage (cough cough). Game of Thrones The Board Game, Smash Up, 7 Wonders, Small World, Forbidden Desert and Munchkin are all games I play and love and I urge you to do a little research and give some a go, especially Munchkin as it’s easy to pick up and you get to play as tiny, customisable munchkin people that kill stuff (this video by Geek & Sundry might help you along the way). 

If you've got a sparkling imagination that might feed on epic stories with characters, wars, monsters and dungeons, then try playing a table-top board game. It's a really enjoyable past time and I think you'll have fun (If you don't, leave a comment and you will be given a full refund for the time you spent reading this post). Also it is International TableTop Day on April 5th 2014, so get yourself involved now so you can have fun with tonnes of other awesome people.

Do or do not, there is no try. I love you all. PLAY MORE GAMES.

Pancake Day

Happy March 4^th, Shrove Tuesday and if you are greedy like me, Pancake Day. I’ll be honest, I only realised Pancake day was today because it had been written all over websites I look through when I’m waking up. Something that I feel morally obliged to quickly share before I go into pancakes, is the video circulating around the internet of John Travolta introducing Idina Menzel on stage at The Oscars. She's played Elsa in Disney’s Frozen and Elphaba in Wicked and is hugely talented. The following video made me laugh so, so much and is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen (I spent a good half an hour replaying it which put me in a state of enlightenment). I won’t explain further, the 30 seconds below does itself justice.

The pancake excitement began after I had visited my new job, which went super well and I am thrilled because they’re pushing my start date back even earlier (no sarcasm, I need the money). I had this annoying excitement going on that I get on special occasions like Christmas or Halloween (my favourites). If the occasion means food, then the excitement moves into another league and basically, I'd told myself to be healthier a few days ago because I'm packing on the pounds and today was just a lovely excuse to do precisely not that.

Upon arrival back home, I found my musketeers and three of us got all the stuff we needed for our pancakes. We went for a ‘Traditional pancake mix’ from Betty Crocker, who does the tastiest ready-made icing which I really do recommend if you like to bake (her vanilla butter cream style icing is the best icing I've ever tried). Our treats to go on top were all unhealthy (who’d have thought) and we had syrup, strawberry sauce, lemon juice and ice-creams. One of the musketeers is Canadian, can you guess what he chose? 

Obviously it all went to shit once the pans were heated.  We produced some balls of uncooked batter, some of which we then dropped on the floor (adds flavour). The good ones we managed to make were either misshaped, soggy, burnt or really, really small. My sister Lucy's favourite one was very round, thin and crispy, like a small jellyfish left in the sun too long. Soon after making her small 'pancake' and holding its limp body in one palm, she got really freaked out and unfortunately it is now in a better place (the bin). This one looks like a slice of human brain. I would apologise for the terrible quality of these very dull photos, but an artist is only as good as his tools. 

The finished product was presented on a very expensive, plastic Kung Fu Panda plate that I bought on a whim in a sale. Luckily the pancakes all tasted okay with toppings on and we are now digesting them. It is safe to say that a lot more than one spoonful of sugar helped them go down. I felt really sick after my experience of Pancake Day this year and as I type, I am hoping this is due to my greed and not food poisoning. I hope that we can share many fatter, even more special occasions together. I think I will try and give up watching the John Travolta video for lent. I'd like to thank every single person who has taken the time to read my blog. I'm finding it so therapeutic and enjoyable and the most uplifting thing is hearing that others are enjoying it too. If I could make you all a pancake to show you my appreciation, I still wouldn't. 

Do What You Love

Dan Sexton is an animator. He is also my boyfriend, my best friend and a real life superhero (undisclosed information, keep it to yourselves). In 2012, he founded a YouTube channel called ‘Crunchlins’ (a word we used to call people we didn't like), on which he makes animated, comedy videos. Here's one of my favourite videos, one for the Minecrafters.

I have been with Dan since the first day he began animating, right back to his first video, which was born from hours of work on Paint. In case you weren’t aware, animation is the art of creating constant movement by changing a still image, ever so slightly, a lot of times, to simulate motion. In Dan’s case, these images tend to be those from his favourite video games or original characters that have spawned from his abyss like mind. I started this blog because I wanted something that I could invest effort and creativity in; after university, as I've explained in a previous post, I was left feeling lost. The most frustrating thing was how little focus I had. I'm not a hugely creative person, so I wanted something that had no rules, was free and expressive. From being in this grey zone and witnessing the enjoyment Dan got out of animating, I started to consider how fulfilling it could be to have a personal project to throw myself into. Ergo, welcome to my blog.

You may or may not already know about Crunchlins. If you’re reading this, you may be one of my Facebook or Twitter ‘friends’ who has fallen victim to my furious spamming of news feeds with this unexplained, made-up word (I feel no guilt). Maybe you’re a subscriber, someone Dan has worked with or a close friend. I’m aware it can be hard to read about a topic you have little or no affiliation with, so thank you for getting this far and I hope you enjoy. Both Crunchlins and SarAndBackAgain are places that are open to curious trespassers.

A few days ago, Dan handed in his notice to his daytime job of five years to focus on animation, a move that I'm sure you'll agree takes a certain amount of courage. Although he will be passing into a zone that isn't quite the security he’s used to, he will be in complete control of his career and there is no concern in my mind about his decision because of his relentless drive to succeed. His list of achievements is continually growing. Although he’s working ridiculously hard, I can tell he’s elated and loves what he does. I don’t mean it lightly when I say that I’m proud of him. Isn't it everyone's dream to find a job they love? If Dan was a superhero, I think his superpower would be having the courage to do what he loves and inspiring others to do the same; he has certainly inspired me. The moral of this story is to have the courage to do what makes you happy. This could mean changing your attitude to your existing job, quitting a job you feel nothing but hate for, or taking time to explore a new, more enjoyable career path.  I thought it would be nice to 'interview' Dan so he could tell you a bit more about what he does, to give you some tips if you feel like trying it yourself, and to show you that being brave can reap the rewards.

Why did you choose animation?

"Growing up I always wanted to be a cartoonist, more for comics and I pretty much drew all the time. A friend of mine in school who did some animation got me interested and then I started to do it just for fun, to show my friends."

Any tips for budding animators?

"There is a free 30 day trial of Adobe Flash CS6, that’s the programme I use to animate, so it’s worth getting the trial before you buy the full version, because it’s a daunting programme if you’re new to it. Take your time with animation, you won’t get a cartoon out every day, the production time is a lot longer than many realise. Refine your skills. I like to design my characters on paper first, then practice them, that way you become familiar with them and you can get them onto a computer fast. I recommend starting with a Wacom Bamboo graphics tablet, which is the most basic model and costs around 50 pounds."

What are the hardest parts of the job and have you ever doubted yourself?

"The feedback. I've done animations that have been seen by people who aren't my subscribers and sometimes they can be negative and narrow minded. It used have an effect on me and would demotivate me but you get the positive feedback too, which is so helpful, especially if it’s constructive. The worst comments I've ever been given are ‘Why would somebody even make an animation out of this crap’ which was great as you can imagine, and ‘This video gave me aids’, which I actually found hilarious because the implication was bad, but the person writing it was clearly an absolute dick monkey. Those people are always the ones who come out at the bottom. I only doubt myself when feedback is irrelevant and harsh, but you have to remember that there’s an audience for everything. I love animating so much and there is a genuine market for people who do it, so the doubt never stops me."

What do you love the most about being an animator?

"I love putting out new animations because it’s so satisfying to see it all together, you built it up from scratch, make something non-existent full of sound and colour. I love doing the arty side, so character design, especially recreating my own version of old characters I love. I really enjoy writing with friends, we voice together and the improvisations always make me laugh."

What advice would you give to anyone who wants to become self-employed?

"If you have a passion, keep doing it, don’t be held back by anyone, push your way forward. If it’s something that you can take or leave, maybe you don’t want to actually do it. For me, when I started animating it was the only thing on my mind, so it was easy to work out that I wanted to do it. Focus on the dreams you want to bring into your income and try and find a way that you can achieve them. Discipline yourself. You can’t just say, “I like playing football so I’ll play it in my garden for a few days and then I’ll be pro”, you've got to put in the work and take on board improvements and what people say, especially from others in the industry (note, being told what you’re doing is ‘gay’ is not constructive material for improvement). A year and a half ago, my first animation was two stick figures and since then I've developed my characters so much."

What are your hopes for the future?

"I’m hoping to expand my YouTube channel. I have a new production schedule which is the beginning of that. I’ll have new cartoons up every other Friday. I will continue to make shorts and sketch shows, maybe one day see my cartoons in between shows on TV, it’d be cool to be part of something big, maybe a TV series like Adventure Time or a childhood cartoon brought back."

Are you actually a superhero?

"I need to speak to my lawyer."

You’ll find his animations at http://youtube.com/Crunchlins, have a look, laugh, enjoy and if you’re feeling particularly neighbourly, share some love. Other than the questions I've asked him, he has no idea about the content of this blog post. I love being sneaky. To Dan, this is a big thank you for all the support you give me and keep up the good work. To my readers, I hope you are doing something in life that makes you happy.