Relax

I have a question. Are you relaxed? I mean, in your life, do you feel relaxed and free from stress? I am going to go on a hunch and assume that the answer is no. When you live and grow older, the responsibilities you have only really expand. That’s how it’s been for me anyway. The only stress my younger self had to deal with was deciding what I wanted from the ice cream van and now all of a sudden I have to find a bullshit career path and know exactly what I want to do with my life. Thank you very much universe maker but I gratefully decline. I think if life had a difficulty mode, it’d be automatically set to expert and to change it you’d have to fight a hundred bosses, defeat a hundred hordes of zombies and rescue a hundred princesses. That said, I think that making mistakes and encountering obstacles is normal and healthy. Stress comes in many guises. Work, education, family, relationships, children, self-image, health, housework, money, the past, the present and the future. You’re probably able to pluck out a good few of those.

Now I think that the things that make us stressed can also make us happy. I think they can be controlled or changed to become less stressful. That sounds dumb and obvious but I often find myself really upset over things that I know I can control. Instead, I almost always choose to distract myself and go with ignorance. I’ll throw you back to this time last year, when I was stressing over getting my dissertation finished (I became an irritable, miserable Cave Troll). I knew that if I chipped away at it, day by day, i'd get it done but, contrary to my sound logic, I only did it when I wanted to, and was sitting at this same laptop on the night before due date feeling hateful, crying and i'm certain I nearly vomited. I remember feeling dreadful. I learnt my lesson and although I think it’s hard to be pro-active about conquering stress, it's worthwhile. 

Basically, on top of that, I think every Earth-dwelling creature should spend more time relaxing. You are allowed to do it, no matter how busy you are. Life treats humans like droids, like we have unlimited stamina and no emotional response. Knowing the difference in how you feel when you’re stressed and relaxed is really worthwhile acknowledging. Separate work and play. Try taking time out of every day to calm down and relax. Could be relaxing at breakfast before the day starts, on your lunch break, on a drive home or when you’re lying in bed at night. Sounds pointless, maybe boring, but it really isn't. Lie down, sit down, stick on a film, close your eyes and just stop everything (not breathing - counterproductive). I’m a very anxious person and a total stress hoarder and taking time out to actively slow myself down and recognise when I’m relaxed feels great.

I thought I’d mention a few, great techniques that were recommended to me that calm me down. First one, 7-11 breathing. Obvious, yes, I know, but it actually works. If you feel tense, breathe in slowly through your nose for 7 seconds, hold the breath briefly, and then exhale through your mouth for 11 seconds. If you repeat this 5/6 times, or as many times as you need to, you’ll notice that your body slows down because the sympathetic nervous system is stimulated. A bonus to this is you can do it basically anywhere. Another technique is progressive muscular relaxation. This one is odd but fun. It works on the premise that tensing various parts of the body can help you separate and enjoy the feeling of relaxation from that of stress. Sometimes when I’m stressed or nervous I can get an irregular, uncomfortable heartbeat, stiff muscles and my throat can tighten up. Tensing and releasing areas of your body can draw tension away from the problem areas and will, again, slow you down. Give them a go.

I’m not a doctor but I know stress is bad. I also know that relaxation is good. Seeing others stressed makes me stressed so how about you all do me a favour and just relax. ✩