Nightmares

I never have nightmares, I only ever dream of good things and I've rarely done that since a year or so ago. A few recurring dreams I had when I was small were of laser tag in underground tunnels that were built under fields and of being able to levitate on the upstairs landing of my house. Weird, just like me. I've had a bit of trouble with anxiety this year and this, twinned with trying to find an enjoyable job upon graduating has resulting in me standing on mountains of stress and worry (no sympathy, it's sadly self-inflicted). I'm slowly climbing down as I finally have a job I enjoy and am coping a bit better with the evils in life.

This past week I've had 3 terrifying nightmares, and this, for me, is very unusual. In the first, I woke within the dream. I stirred in my bed and felt someone watching me. My covers were then thrust over my mouth and a hand went over my throat, so I couldn't breathe. It felt SO real and I remember screaming through the duvet for help. Now this was so terrifying because I could feel the skin of the hands grasping my neck and my nose being smothered, allowing no air in. The second dream was reminiscent of Noah's Ark. The Earth had flooded and it was in an apocalyptic state. The world was gradually drowning under this mass of water and houses were filling up so that people had to flee their homes. I remember searching for a helicopter or a boat to save myself and wondering where I would live once the flood had wiped out the human population. Whilst searching for my family I looked up in the landscape and was face to face with a ridiculously tall tsunami wave of water and that was pretty much it for me and I woke me up. Yesterday's nightmare was absolutely awful and yet I can't remember a thing, which I'm not too upset about (all hail Buddha). I probably had snippets of memory in the morning but by first break at work it had gone.

The only positive of the nightmares was the HUGE, warming relief I felt after I woke up. This especially from the strangling nightmare which made waking up seem blissful. I don’t know if I believe in the meaning of dreams but mine seem appropriate. I've smooshed the verdicts of a lot of different sources into some meaning. Choking and strangulation allegedly mean suppression of emotions you don't want to confront, or having someone keep you from expressing your true self. Tsunamis and flooding reflect being easily overwhelmed by unresolved feelings and an experience of sadness and emotional stress in life.

To all those who make the magical decision to read my blog when I post something new, don't bottle up any feeling before you sleep. I think that's what I'm doing because of these frequent nightmares. Deal with the unorganised, annoying scraps in your head before you rise into a new day because you have, have, have to look after yourself and relieving stress is self-medication. If I can try then so can you. No one wants to wake up every day with a list of exaggerated reasons to hate their life. Enjoy it as best you can cus a meteor/asteroid/earthquake/alien invasion/zombie outbreak could happen at any time.